Night of the Dead Living

Nuclear Explosion Chart Thingie

Since there have never been two atomic bombs dropped at the same time (LAME!) you never really get a side by side look at what the different size thingers are... uh, what are those called... comparisons! So yeah, since some crybabies decided that it's not okay to drop more than one atomic bomb at a time we need a chart to show us how awesome it would be were people to drop more than one bomb at a single time.

And since there are no pictures of simultaneous nuclear weapon explosions we don't really get to see the difference in explosion size, all we see are really pretty mushroom clouds, but we don't really know what each one means.

This handy little chart shows us what the different size bombs look like.

The explosion that's labeled as "1" on the graph is the size of the Little Boy bomb dropped on Hiroshima which was in the range of 15 - 18 kilotons (that means the equivalent of 15 - 18,000 tons of TNT), an explosion which killed roughly 70,000 in a tenth of a second... and look how tiny that little guy is on the graph--just a little guy!

The explosion labeled as "2" on the graph is the largest bomb ever detonated by the U.S., the Castle Bravo test which was 15 Megatons (the equivalent of 15 MILLION tons of TNT!), which was a miscalculation because someone forgot to carry a one or something as the original payload was supposed to be between 4 - 6 Megatons (our bad!) leading to one of the greatest nuclear fallout disasters in history (it was supposed to be a "secret" test, "Shhhhhh, be vewwy, vewwy quiet, I'm only detonating atomic weaponry in the middle of the ocean...").

But wait! There's more! That's not even the biggest bomb ever. The biggest nuclear weapon ever detonated was the Tsar Bomba (King Bomb, duh), by the (you guessed it!) Soviet Union on Oct. 30, 1961. It was supposed to be 100 Megatons (!!!) but some weiner decided there would be too much "fallout" from such "weapon" and the payload was reduced to a measly 50 Megatons (womp).

Watch this rad video with rad creepy music and be glad for treaties and signatures and things.

The US Caste System

1) The Homeless - Nobody gives a fuck about them. They are mentally ill and have drug problems (which is another form of mental illness, if you didn't know). They will never get any help if we cant even get functioning people healthcare. Basically the same as what you have heard is the "untouchables" caste in India.

2) Minimum Wage Earners/Menial Laborers - Basically this is indentured servitude. You work for nothing, you can't own anything and the only thing you can be is a supplementary income to another income. You will never have anything except maybe an XBox and maybe, maybe a computer. You are an hour and a half away from being homeless except that you probably have a wide network of family who have some form of communal living situation where aunts and uncles live with mothers and fathers, and cousins and grandparents share the same households. Many problems but also a strong network to break. This is humanity at its most basic and most honest.
The upside is that you qualify as "poor" so you get help from government bodies and imposed systems, which kind of makes you the smartest and most resilient of the caste. You do what you need to meet the minimum requirements for living and then the systems in place rush out to help you (as they should, that's what systems being in place are supposed to do), and you still have "family" and "community," whatever those words mean to you.
These people don't give a fuck at work because they don't have to. And why should you expect them to care? They get paid nothing and are treated like dogshit at their jobs. When you get to a place like Target or the grocery store or Radio Shack and wonder why everyone is so rude, you are the one who looks stupid and impolite for questioning them. Just be happy that the shelves are stocked (sorta). They work hard enough and do just what they need to, don't ask them to care because that is asking too much. Care costs a lot more than $5.75/hour. They are not part of capitalism yet because they are not rewarded for anything. They show up and whether they bust their asses or sit in the back smoking cigarettes they get the same pay. There is no risk unless they are trying to become the next category where they can be an assistant manager or other such terrible titles, but if they don't want to proceed further in this world of getting paid as little as legally possible, then there will always be another job where someone will be willing to pay them the capitalism equivalent of nothing.
Those people in the unemployment lines that they love to show on the news are not working jobs like this. Those are skilled and/or college educated people who have too much pride to work these jobs no matter how dire the situation because these jobs are always available.

3) Collective Slavery - This is the worst category to be in (this is where I fall). Skilled workers without "education" (not that this word means anything anymore, when college has replaced high school as a must have credential, and the "educated" are about as smart and innovative as a box of Coco Crisp. A numbers game where Adderall and rote memory help professors acquire grants for their selfish experiments to achieve tenure and the students are left with nothing but being able to bark orders back to unquestioned scholastic authority. Universities are the number one unchecked institution in the US, places that make their own economy and leave a world in debt to help keep the top at the top).
This group includes service industry people, repairmen, anyone who works for a commission, managers of minimum wage earners, etc. This is the snakepit of capitalism. As opposed to the above strata where nobody gives a fuck because all you have to do is show up, this is where the dog eat dog world of capitalistic competitiveness begins. Those who "hustle" get the money. And those who just want an easy job and to make a little more money than minimum wage are being thrown into the gears by people who scheme and connive to break the Plexiglas ceiling.
This group makes just enough money to have "too much money" to receive government handouts, yet actually can't even fix a broken tooth with the money they make. This is the group that the wealthier groups piss on whenever they can. Insurance is never available and a taking a day off can mean being irrevocably terminated from your position. There are no such things as sick days, personal days or paid time-off.

4) "Educated" - These people have desk jobs. They are not sure exactly what they do and can't explain it to you in under 45 minutes. Their job titles are equally ambiguous and confounding, things like, "Regional Assitant Director," and, "Observational Data Supervisor," things like that. They work during the day and have no ambitions and no creative drive other than the next place they will go on vacation. They went to college for God knows what and love to talk about their time there and all the magnificent things they did or learned about even though they exist in a world where everything they learned is totally inapplicable and useless and their jobs are irrelevant in two years time.
They make a couple thousand more dollars per year than the Collective Slavery group but are adrift in a world where everything is okay until about the age of 35 when they realize that all was for naught and they have been laidoff because their jobs don't exist anymore. They are the Prozac-munching, primetime-TV-watching losers who are perfectly content to be nothing, contribute nothing and think nothing. They have insurance and make around $30 - 40,000 a year, allowing them to travel and think that they are living the American Dream or whatever it is that makes people like this feel accomplished until they are inevitably laidoff and completely blindsided by the harsh world they thought they had circumvented by graduating college.

5) Personal Slavery - The only true middle class that is left in this country. These people make an exorbitant amount of money doing very easy things. They have some kind of formal education which qualifies them for these ridiculous and extraneous vocations. The job titles for this group are anything with the word PERSONAL in front of it. Personal trainer, personal chef, and things that are entirely proprietary to one person or one family or just a couple of families, like bodyguards, tutors, life coaches, nannies, etc.
The jobs seem easy and the money is good but the catch is that you are at the beck and call of the top two castes because they are the only people who can afford what basically amounts to either a human willpower replacement. If you for some reason do not want to be at the mercy of these vampiric assholes you are fired and replaced, no matter how much "a part of the family" they once said you were.
The middle class has been replaced by people who are once again COMPLETELY AT THE MERCY of the top two castes and can no longer depend on itself to stay afloat.

6) Doctors, Lawyers, CPAs - These people have doctorates and they make a lot of money for jobs that should be free services provided by the government. A doctor should not be that rich.
These are dynastic type families that come from long lines of people following in Daddy's footsteps. These are some of the people who own the Personal Slaves yet still try to retain some form of human behavior, mostly in the form of knowing that they are scum but pretending to be "good people," whatever that means.

7) Dynasty - These people have had money since money has been around. They are the top 1% that you hear about in news reports, as in, "The top 1% makes 17% of the money in the US." They should be pulled into the street and shot, no questions asked. They own everybody and their wealth grows exponentially every year.

Investors Funding Medical Malpractice, Divorce Lawsuits via Huffpost

I can't wait to watch everything crumble. I am going to eat popcorn and wear shorts and find a roof and watch it from a fucking lawnchair. Here's the assholes getting worse.

from The Huffington Post

By Binyamin Appelbaum and Ben Hallman

Binyamin Appelbaum is a reporter with The New York Times; Ben Hallman is a reporter for the Center for Public Integrity. This article is a collaboration between the Center and The Times.

Large banks, hedge funds and private investors hungry for new and lucrative opportunities are bankrolling other people's lawsuits, pumping hundreds of millions of dollars into medical malpractice claims, divorce battles and class actions against corporations -- all in the hope of sharing in the potential winnings.

The loans are propelling large and prominent cases. Lenders including Counsel Financial, a Buffalo company financed by Citigroup, provided $35 million for the lawsuits brought by ground zero workers that were settled tentatively in June for $712.5 million. The lenders earned about $11 million.

Most investments are in the smaller cases that fill court dockets. Ardec Funding, a New York lender backed by a hedge fund, lent $45,000 in June to a Manhattan lawyer hired by the parents of a baby brain-damaged at birth. The lawyer hired two doctors, a physical therapist and an economist to testify at a July trial. The jury awarded the baby $510,000. Ardec is collecting interest at an annual rate of 24 percent, or $900 a month, until the award is paid.

BBC - Science & Nature - Human Body and Mind - Spot The Fake Smile

Spot The Fake SmileThis experiment is designed to test whether you can spot the difference between a fake smile and a real oneIt has 20 questions and should take you 10 minutesIt is based on research by Professor Paul Ekman, a psychologist at the University of CaliforniaEach video clip will take approximately 15 seconds to load on a 56k modem and you can only play each smile once

via www.bbc.co.uk

I got 16 out 20 on this test, which is like, WAY high, so DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME *ahem* sorry, I mean, "I. Am. Good. At. Reading. People." DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!

What'd you get?

It Gets Better?

Riddle me this? Can somebody explain how we (adults) are standing up to bullies? Just because we all get on our facebooks and say "I stand up to bullies, if you're with me then like this!" does not mean that the evil EVIL hallways of our junior highs and high schools get any safer for people who we don't come in contact with, hmmmmm... EVER.

Some of you do happen to be teachers and I guess you are the only line of defense for a problem like this but what are you supposed to do about it? And some of you are parents which, as disconcerting as it may be, you have the ultimate say in what happens when your kids get out there and act/react with other kids (not people, children are not people).
The problem is that if you are a responsible parent (I make the argument that you are henceforth irresponsible for the act of bringing ANYTHING to this world, even a plant endures too much misery being here, but bringing another human to this global frat party is truly despicable and disgusting) but if you are one of the people that promotes equality and kindness in your delicate little flower then you are also raising a human-target. Violence trumps everything. Those who can inflict the most pain always win, unless you want to raise a martyr, and I don't think anyone wants to raise a human-suffering bag who will be a great example when they jump off a bridge or blow their brains out or hang themselves.

You can really see how backwards we are when we look at our aggregate responses to such news, either shock or disgust, or the few campaigns that are out there (It Gets Better! cute, but not really any kind of answer).
My only shock comes at people who are shocked by the inherent evil of children (and now thanks to a protraction of the adolescent developmental stage wherein college students are still children, you really should read that article if you didn't get to it when all internet buzz was surrounding it), causing people like Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei to still embody those malicious tendencies of children while being given the tools and credentials of adults. I am not shocked that children are evil, because people are evil. People spend their entire lives combating their evil sides (sometimes, others just don't give a shit stuck in an omnipresent rightness that might just be this country's and higher education's most fatal flaw), so how are children supposed to know what to do with these innate conflicts?
Also, It Gets Better? It does? News to me! Why? Because 1) I Have the ability to move away from the same shit bags who made me feel this way knowing that they still exist 2)They are the ones who procreate and 3) That I have left others with the same problems back there with the wolves? I don't think so. It doesn't get better until they don't exist. Yes, it us and them and until they are gone, it won't get any better (and this is obviously not about right or left, I am sure that Indian Dharun and Asian Molly were as "liberal" as it gets, being minorities at a respected university. This just shows how fucked our college mentality of dog eat dog, one-upmanship, useless inapplicable "knowledge" that is coming out of these severely unchecked institutions).
Yes, you might want to wait until you move to New York or California or Austin until you blow your brains out, or you might not. It doesn't get better, in fact, the more people who let this problem go on to the next generation and just move away from it when they turn 18 (now way later than 18), the worse it will continually get for those who remain behind.
And I am happy that these terrible things have been happening at the universities now--the shootings, the bullying--I hope people will see just how terrible these institutions are to a society where "knowledge" has a pricetag and the Valkyries of right and wrong are bought and sold with social standing and upper class tax cuts.

I say let the new generation be a militant one. We've relaxed too much. What did the hippies get other than sold out? Other than turning into a fucking business? Peace and love don't work and we have to remember that there is no other side, only our side. We don't get anywhere saying that bullies get detention and we mean it! We don't get anywhere arguing with Creationist right-wing zealots. A wise man said, "Never argue with a fool. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience," and nothing could be truer of the present as we see how often we have been beat down, to the point of watching people off themselves like lemmings for being picked on. A bully? This is what we are standing up against? These children are nothing but the rotten reflections of a sick society. Why should we (adults) be standing up to children? We should be giving our kids the lead pipes that they are going to break those assholes' faces with.

Iowa voters oust justices who made same-sex marriage legal - CNN.com

via www.cnn.com

This is fucking great. Iowa (as in Iowish I was in another state) is already removing judges who made same-sex marriage legal (also, same-sex marriage was legal in Iowa?).
Do you smell that? That's this country smoldering under stupidity.

YOU FUCKING STINK

Apparently it is such big news that Mr. Fancypants The New York Times decided to pay somebody to write an article about people who don't use deodorant. I also do not use deodorant. But unlike these people who claim that they do not smell, I smell like garbage all the time. Ask anybody who comes near me or stands next to me on a train or elevator, they will say, "WTF GET AWAY FROM ME!"

I mean, I use a deodorant type thing, one of those rocks that you get from Whole Foods called Neil's Magic Nodor Crystal or Zoe's Organic Buttrub or something, and no it doesn't work like Old Spice, but there is a noticeable difference from days when I remember to use it and days when I don't.

There a couple of reasons for this.

1) I would rather stink like a bum than smell like Captain of the Axe Bodyspray Team. Today at the gym I was next to one of these dudes on the treadmill, and it probably has something to do with my five year long cocaine bender, but my nose literally (see how annoying it is when people use this word incorrectly) burst into flames and I had to douse the literal flames from my nose with literal water. Every time I smell a scent like cologne or deodorant I sneeze like crazy and the smell sticks inside my nose for hours. It's like when you hear a shitty song coming out of a car window for two seconds but it gets stuck in your head all day, except I have their fucking stink-echo setting fires in my brain.

2) Sex. Siblings and other people who don't want to know such things about me stop reading... now.
I like sex to be an "all-access" sort of event. And when people read that they immediately think that you mean buttholes (I do mean buttholes, but not only buttholes), I also like armpits, and have you ever gotten a big mouthul of anti-perspirant? That can dry up (double entendre, 10 points!) a sex session real quick. It is the weirdest sensation, and you can actually feel your tongue sort of just hanging out of your mouth because it just won't work after you lick an anti-perspiranted armpit. You definitely can't do anything sexy with your tongue for at least five minutes until some moisture returns to it and it stops looking like some sort of powdered Asian dessert and the only things you can say anyway are, "Buh huth... mmmmth... THARDER, THARDER."

3) Gross! Why the fuck should I smell you? I mean, yes, up there I did just say that I stink, but that's only if you are close to me, and I don't take the train everyday anymore SO WHY ARE YOU ALL STANDING UP ON ME? HUH? You should not be able to smell another person anymore than you should be able to hear another person you are not directly conversing with. People can be loud with more than just their voices. You can look loud and you can definitely smell loud.

4) I think I've gone on long enough here.

5) I think I'm hungry again.

6) One time I had a good idea and then I got bored so I stopped wri

Tired of Sleeping? Watch This! Jeffrey Dahmer Documentary

Watch the rest of the 7 part series

What Your Halloween Costume Says About You!!!

 

FEMALE:

Princess - Rape victim/Daughter of emotionally detached father, will cry when giving you head

Zombie - Rape victim/Vengeful bitch i.e. "You killed my soul but somehow I will get you back."

Cat - Incest victim, sexually repressed, wants people to know that they know what sex is

Vampire - Loser

Cowgirl - Rape/Incest victim, wants to be a man to know what having a cock feels like, inferiority complex

Sexy Anything (Cop, Nurse, Firefighter, etc.) - Recent divorcee/Rape victim, will let you fuck her in a urine soaked alley

Obscure Historical Figure - Ugly (wishes they could be rape victim), prompts the question "what are you?" just so a man will talk to them, thinks too much/has anxiety and/or depression, probably adopted

Current Event/Timely News Thing - Inferiority complex, feels stupid so has to show that she knows how to read/went to college, major father issues

Inanimate Object - Feminist (read into that one!) also, rape victim

Victim/Injured Something - Needs too much attention, thinks they are better than the girls who dress up as sexy somethings but is actually more high maintenance than any of them

Political/Activist Thing - Rape victim, liberal loser, nobody takes seriously, will let you fuck her in a urine soaked alley

Witch - Upset Catholic too afraid to renounce shitty religion

MALE:

Zombie - Fag

Current Event/Timely News Thing - Fag

Offensive/"Too Soon" News Thing - Angry fag, liberal arts or film major, thinks he is way cool because he has a show on college radio station

Toughguy/Gangster - S&M fag

Vampire - Straight but will never touch a woman

Rockstar - Fratboy (fag, of course)

Black Rapper - Fratboy, self-loather, "understands black people," fag

Clint McCance - Funny!

Horror Movie Character - Wounded toughguy, father issues

Doesn't Dress Up - Suicidal buzzkill

Blackface - Funny!!!

Gay - Straight

Sexy Anything - Gay

Political/Activist Thing - Fag, nobody takes seriously, no self-identity, father issues, liberal arts major, most common person people say, "I wish he would just SHUT THE FUCK UP" behind their back, has fat girlfriend

All of these facts have been researched and approved by The Society for the Advancement of Scientific Science Facts and have appeared in all 407 Ivy League College Science Journal Things with a margin of error at -2%, meaning that they are more correct every minute and can be used as biofuel

Also (new for post update!) guess which one I am and win a free T-shirt!!!*

* Winner does not receive a free T-shirt**

** I have had too much coffee today***

*** I am very proud of my new website logo, behold its glory in the address bar of this page (hushed awe followed by stunned awe followed by gasping awe, please)